by Cheryl-Lynn Murray
After browsing the streets of downtown Charlottetown, I came to a conclusion. These women need some serious fashion fixes. Not only are women still sporting acid wash jeans (by the way ladies, the 90s called, they want their jeans back), but also I’ve seen some of the most ferocious accessories known to man.
I felt like a voyeur with homosexual tendencies, blatantly staring at women. More specifically, what they’re wearing. As a self-professed fashionist I feel it is my duty to inform the unenlightened public of their fashion woes, and how to fix them.
Are you prepared to feel the wrath of a fashion nazi? This is for the women who decide to wear a parka or a short down-filled coat with their dressy clothes, for reasons beyond my understanding. I’m sure these ladies are very stylish under the puffy, feather-filled shells. So I ask you this: what are you thinking when you get dressed in the morning? I know it’s cold and you need to bundle up, but have you looked in the mirror while you’re wearing that? You look like cotton candy on a stick.
I know what you’re thinking; you have to dress for the weather. But come on. Parkas have disappeared from style radars everywhere, and do you really want to look like you gained 50 pounds overnight? I don’t think so.
What I’m about to share with you may come as a shock, but don’t be scared. You can dress for colder weather and still look like a million bucks. I swear!
The best way to nix this fashion faux pas is to invest in a wool coat. It’s heavy, it’s warm and depending on the cut, it will show off your gorgeous figure.
For taller women, I suggest a length between the knee and the calf. Any shorter will make you look like you have tree trunks for thighs and any longer would hide your legs and make you look shorter. Not to mention the dirt that would accumulate from brushing on the ground.
Short women should stay with a shorter length to show your legs, lengthening your body. A coat cut just below the hip is your best bet.
As for the cut of the coat, go with seams that go with the shape of your body. My choice would be the universally flattering princess seams. If you have a higher waist, try to avoid belts, it will make your hips look huge. If you can find one with a seam at the waist, try that. Double-breasted styles are always a good choice. The vertical buttons draw invisible vertical lines, lengthening and slimming your figure.
The best thing is, at this time of year it should be easy to find a great coat on sale. Stores are clearing out their inventory to make room for spring. You would get some use out of it this year, but try to avoid coats that are too trendy. Find one in a classic colour and style so you can wear again in the years to come.
DON’T DO IT: The opposite—a dressy coat with sweats. You know you look ridiculous, right?